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9 Things First Time Fathers Should Know

Or the first time you are handling your crying baby alone. You do not know if he/she is hungry, feeling tired or just loaded up his/her diaper with poo. Hence, you feel overwhelmed and stressed as a newborn father. All these are just part of a long list of responsibilities of a father. The following are 9 Things First Time Father Should Know.

#1 Loss of freedom

Sorry guys. No more late night drinking or partying. The toughest thing is that you have to turn down your friend’s invitation because you had a call of duty to your baby at home.

This may be the case for the first few years. What I have noticed over the last few years is that it will be tough to spend more time with your friends. Especially those that do not have kids.

They may not understand the responsibilities of being a newborn parent. After you have rejected their requests a few times, they may not invite you anymore. That is a sacrifice that you have to make and is almost unavoidable.

According to a new study published in the journal Demography, a child will have a great impact on your happiness more than unemployment or divorce.

#2 Settling the increasing family expenses

There will be a long list of items you have to buy before the baby is even born and after he/she is born.

Stroller, baby carriers, branded milk powder, diapers, clothing, baby crib, sterilizer, milk bottles, breast pumps and even more.

Also, factor medical costs as they fall sick easily in the first few years. Other additional costs include child insurance, nanny care and school care.

Instead of just hoping for the best, planning ahead financially is very important. One way to assist with planning is to create an excel sheet listing down the potential expenses down the road for your newborn.

Note that expenses may change as your baby grows. You will need to edit the excel sheet along the way and it is also a good way to manage your family expenses. This will reduce the situation where you cannot afford to pay for emergencies like a medical bill for your child.

$1000 emergency expense

A recent survey from CNBC discovers that just under half (44%) of millennials (which are classified as those aged between 22 and 37) say they have an emergency savings fund that can cover at least three months of emergency living expenses of up to $1,000 when it arises.

This means that the other 56% have to raise the funds by using a credit card, borrowing from friends & relatives, or selling something.

If you are still finding it hard to set aside more money for baby essentials, there are 2 options.

Consider joining free Facebook groups that bless out baby items liked used milk bottles or strollers.

Look at getting second-hand baby essentials from places like eBay or Craigslist.

#3 Disturbed sleeps

Oh yeah, don’t expect to sleep well at night. Regardless of whether it is time for milk, change of diapers or whatever, you need to be taking turns with your partner to handle the baby before you awaken your neighbors.

For the first few months, the newborn will need a lot of attention. It will be very overwhelming and stressful if you are handling it alone with just your spouse without any external help.

Typical newborns sleep 14 to 18 hours a day in the first week and 12 to 16 hours by the time they’re a month old. However, note that every baby is different and some may sleep less or more than the average.

Scott Cohen is a pediatrician and author of Eat Sleep Poop: A Common Sense Guide to Your Baby’s First Year. According to him, it is normal for some newborns to sleep up to 20 hours per day. If this fits your baby description, get as much rest as possible.

Unfortunately, even if your baby is a sleep glutton, you may find yourself staggering around like a wet dishrag. From a study published in the journal sleep, new parents may face sleep deprivation 6 years after the newborn is born.

In contrast, moms are affected more than dads. It would be great that if you can rotate shift one in the day while another rest for the night shift.

Related Post: How to make newborn sleep fast

#4 Never ending drama with your spouse

If you do not have a helper or in-laws to help you in the house, good luck to you. Whether is it washing the milk bottles, washing the baby clothes (oh yes they dirty them quickly in the early years) or anything baby related, there is a really high chance the dad will have to help out to prevent drama with the spouse escalating out of control.

High Divorce rate after the birth of a child

According to the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, within three years of the birth of a child, around two-thirds of couples discover that their quality of relationship declines.

Within five years of the birth of a first child, 13 percent of marriages end in divorce for couples who were married at the time of the child’s birth.

The five-year divorce rate increases to 39 percent for couples who were living together at the time of the first child’s birth.

Good communication is vital to work things out at this point in time. Do not expect your spouse to know what you are thinking and vice versa. Discuss and work things out together and enjoy the journey of raising your baby together. Appreciating and complimenting each other frequently helps in the motivation and fosters a stronger relationship.

Related Post: How to Keep Relationship Strong After a Baby

#5 Work housework repeat

You will be responsible for bringing the bread home on weekdays. Assuming that you do not need to work on weekends, you will be tasked to handle the normal household chores. It can be washing the toilet or wiping the windows because your spouse will be that damn tired handling the little minion.

This will be ongoing for a few years until your kid starts to grow up and starts to understand more of day to day life.

#6 Your world revolves around your newborn

Any outings you plan for the first few years will be providing entertainment for your little one.

Therefore, it will be almost impossible to plan something for yourself unless you can find a safe place for your little one for a short while.

You will start to research and list down all the possible places that are kid friendly and possibly provide wholesome snacks and activities to keep them occupied.

You will also start to visit all sorts of tourist attractions in your local area such as zoos or theme parks which you may not have frequented with your spouse in the past.

#7 Specialist in the latest baby songs

As you gradually introduce YouTube videos to your little ones, you will become a specialist in the latest baby songs. Common baby songs include classic hits like the baby shark, minions, frozen etc.  Your baby may have different preferences for songs than other kids which is not unusual.

#8 Exemplary behavior of the parent

The first time you realized your Wife was pregnant you do not know what to expect before and after the baby is born.

According to the US national library of medicine, parenting is not the act of interacting, training and bringing up your children. It focuses more on the quality and exemplary behaviour of the parent. Regardless if it is you or your spouse, note that your child will be observing and learning from your behavior – all the time whether you notice it or not.

Do remember as a father, whatever you are doing including your actions, behavior and speech your minions are watching and imitating you closely.

#9 Information Overload

Based on my own experience, you will always be more anxious for your firstborn. As everything is new, you will also be afraid that you are not fully prepared.

The fact is will only know what you need to know after the baby is born. Websites like this one provide heaps of information based on our practical understanding to support you through these times. For most of us you will have your parents and in-laws trying giving advice as to the best way to bring up your children, what you do with this is entirely up to you and your spouse, but you must make a joint decision on whatever you decide

There is no hard and fast rule on how to bring up your children. However, you do have to be firm when correcting their behavior.

It is important that you and your partner sit down and discuss setting certain rules in the family and stick to it over the long term. This consistency is important in bringing up your child and instilling important values to them in the long term.

A final tip for First Time Father

A father plays a huge part in child development compared to 20 or 30 years ago. Importantly, this article will provide you with a concise summary of the responsibilities of a first time father.